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Upperstall Review



Official Site

Tees Maar Khan


Hindi, Drama, 2010, Color

Only once in a blue moon is such a great criminal born who is fearless as well as shameless! And tha great criminal is Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar). He steals cons and cheats all with such alarming audacity that even shame shies away from him! He and his gang comprising of Dollar, Soda and Burger have managed to keep the police, world over, on their toes. Then one fine day international antique smugglers, the Johri Brothers, assign Tees Maar Khan the biggest job of his life! He must rob antiques worth 500 crore rupees from a heavily guarded moving train! Will Khan and his merry gang, with some unwitting support from his wannabe-actress girlfriend, Anya (Katrina Kaif), and a greedy Bollywood superstar (Akshaye Khanna) be able to pull off the greatest heist in history?

The entire second half of Tees Maar Khan (TMK) is about how Akshay Kumar and his cronies 'con' unsuspecting, ignorant villagers with their film crew eyewash and get them to do his bidding in looting a train full of rare treasures. This is a very good analogy for what Farah Khan thinks she can do with an unsuspecting, ignorant audience who will pay good money to see Katrina Kaif shake her booty and Akshay his thing.

Except that there is little similarity between Farah Khan's villagers and today's audiences. One would be very surprised if the film is a hit, and if it is, credit is probably due to Vishal Bhardwaj's awesome Saat Khoon Maaf promo that released with it and one that alone is worth a trip to the theater.

It would be entirely pointless to analyze TMK closely. And any amount of time spent on it would be more than the writers and director would have taxing their minds on lesser facets of screenplay such as, um, plot. The screenplay has no structure, not a trace of conflict, confrontation, and the climax can only claim to be one because it comes at the end.

The writers' energies are fully focused on stringing together gag after gag, replete with repetitive dialogue. There must be some kind of record set for the number of time the title of a film has been reinforced through dialogue, 'background score', and visuals.

Sure, the Sheila ki Jawani song is catchy, raunchy, and fun; but what good is a single item- almost out of context - when the rest of the film lacks any punch? It's like taking an Al Pacino scene out of The Godfather and putting it in, let's say, Ocean's Thirteen. Well, something like that anyway. Yes, there are some funny moments in the film but you're only laughing at the slapstick. And usually the moments involve Akshaye Khanna.

With every subsequent release, Akshay Kumar is digging himself a deeper hole that he will eventually fall into. The film seems to be a big party for the cast and crew. One would be surprised if there were a second take of any scene in the film, especially the ones involving him. It's effortless, this performance. Literally.

Katrina Kaif has been reduced to the Queen of Bimbettes. It's a wonder that she didn't dye her hair blond to fit the character even more. She gets pushed, shoved, abused, and has the mickey taken out of her by Akshay Kumar's character (the great TMK), as if she's no more than an expensive inflatable rubber doll. It's extremely surprising that a woman director would treat her heroines with such scant respect. Pathetic to say the least.

Both the leads ham their way to senselessness as if bacon is in short supply.

Akshaye Khanna essays the only fun part in the film. He's the only one who seems to have understood Farah Khan's only instruction to her actors ("be completely over the top") doesn't mean you are not to look at the script (or what's there of it). He does a superb job with his character: a star hankering after the Oscar after seeing Anil Kapoor dance on stage, ready to do almost anything for it and getting so focused while acting that he loses it completely). He's the only one who provides some laughs.

Technically, the film is in some alternate universe where the 80s extended into the 21st century - extremely loud costumes, tacky production design (Katrina lives in a chawl in a set that is made to resemble, um, Cairo I think), OTT background score (obviously. Some mice continuously chant 'TMK, TMK' throughout), and well whatever.

The year seems to have ended as it did with Housefull - absolute nonsensical, regressive filmmaking. Makers, audiences are seeing through it too now!

Upperstall review by: filmbear





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