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Upperstall Review

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We are Family

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Hindi, Drama, 2010, Color





Maya (Kajol) is the perfect mother. Her life revolves around her three childeren, Aleya (Aachal Munjal), Ankush (Nominath Ginsberg), and Anjali (Diya Sonecha). Despite being divorced from her husband, Aman Arjun Rampal,. Maya has ensured that everything runs smoothly in her house, under her watch, and that they continue to remain a happy family unit. However, when Aman introduces his new girlfriend, Shreya (Kareena Kapoor), a career oriented woman who has a lot to learn about children, to the family, the situation immediately takes an unexpected turn. When an incident changes their lives drastically, bringing the two women under the same roof, they find themselves putting to test an unusual situation; can two mothers make a home?



Should you survive the first half of the film, pat yourself on the back and stay on till the end because hey, it can’t get any worse now. But whaddya know? The first scene post interval does start with the father and kids discussing how mother will end up as a star in the sky; yes, the same scene that is ubiquitous in every Hindi film since the advent of stars (the ones made up of plasma, not gas.) Like this scene, We Are Family (WAF) is so riddled with KJo clichés and done-to-death sequences, it’s entirely possible that WAF is the result of outtakes of other Dharma films and basic Photoshop tools. No, wait. That’d require creativity and talent.

WAF lives up to its promise of being a ‘film for the whole family’. The first quarter is for teenagers, the next for six-year-olds, the third for the middle-aged and parents and the last bit for people with tear ducts. All bases have been covered.

But un-covered is the KJo secret recipe to make audiences cry – because a pattern has emerged. And here it is: ‘Make protagonist die, make all characters cry.’ Other keywords to make you cry include – hospital, shaadi, family, and Arjun Rampal.

This film should have released 20 years ago. Not that it’d not be tired and clichéd even then, but because audiences were smarter and would’ve rejected it. Today however, this film is in the danger of becoming a hit because the tabloids have incessantly been talking about the “chemistry” between Kareena (acid reflux) and Kajol (mainly H20 flowing out of her). Of course, Arjun is relegated to being the Bunsen burner. The promotions have been on non-stop and if you’ve slightest screenplay sense, an afternoon off, and a WC; you will be able to piece the plot together from the promo alone. Or you could watch Stepmom. And maybe even enjoy it. Actually, I’d recommend a war film. People die with so much less fuss.

The characters in WAF are so cardboard-y that if there were a KBC episode on guessing their characteristics without watching a single frame of the movie, you’d win a crore without needing a lifeline. Actually, without even needing multiple choice. What does ‘Career Kareena’ do? That’s right. Fashion designer! She even reaches the finals of some contest before the writers forgot about that track when they came back to write the second half and started with the your-mother-is-a-star-in-the-sky scene. Can’t blame them, the genius of originality must’ve been overwhelming. What does National Award-winner Arjun Rampal do? Carries leather bags.

But wait; there are aspects of the film to be appreciated. Now as you all know, WAF has been shot in Australia (surely the all-Indian cast and their Hindi-only dialogue was a total giveaway.) NSW and Victoria to be precise. Here’s the clincher: there is absolutely no telling – because there are no landmarks to be spotted or cavorted around. Except for a lighthouse that features in two consecutive crane swing-bys. The director has even resisted taking a direct shot of the Sydney Opera House, choosing instead to reflect it in a window during a song montage. Now this is production value.

Apologies for this non-review. At least some part of this WAF exercise had to be fun. Look, if you’re in half a mind to give your tear-ducts an involuntarily reflex exercise by all means, get into the mood, book a seat smack in-between two middle-aged women (preferably homemakers with kids and divorced at least once) and get a tub of salt-less popcorn. If it’s your cuppa, there’s no stopping you now is there?


Upperstall review by: filmbear





 

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